Hi there. My name is Lucy and I am Mum to both Bobby and my rainbow daughter and I am the Founder of Upon Butterfly Wings.
UBW was founded back in 2011 and has since successfully donated thousands of knitted, crocheted and sewn clothing, blankets, cribs and teddies to hospitals, mortuaries and bereavement services across the UK, for babies who have been born too soon or who have sadly die shortly after birth. UBW specialise for those born between 12 to 34 weeks.
My son Bobby was born sleeping at 5:48am on Friday the 3rd of July 2009, at 22+2 weeks in Lewisham Hospital, South East London weighing a tiny 1lb 1oz. I started UBW two years later as I simply ‘needed’ a purpose for his death. That reason quickly changed once I realised the power of a ‘simple’ hat and blanket and saw how much comfort it gave to others in the same position as my own.
My own experience was terrible and I did not want other Mothers to feel left with guilt or the feeling that their baby had not been recognised fully because it had been born ‘too early’.
Bobby died after a ‘simple’ water infection caused my waters to break at 19 weeks pregnant. Despite my concerns, I was not listened to and at 22+1, I woke as usual in the morning to discover that his umbilical cord had prolapsed through my cervix. Sadly due to him not being ‘viable’ by law and although alive when I arrived by ambulance, he was left inside of me until his death and then induction to deliver him began.
Through fear of what he would look like and being misinformed that he would be the size of my hand, I chose not to see him, which effectively stripped me from any photos of us together or having the opportunity to spend any precious time with him, dress him, bath him or lay with him. The need however was too great and I did visit him at the hospitals mortuary two days later, where I got to spend 45 minutes alone holding him. Although at the time he was presented to me wrapped in a pale green fleece blanket and dressed in a tiny white tabard with little yellow ducks on, he had a little bare head. It was a huge comfort as the issue of clothing him had not once crossed my mind. However, I later found out through speaking to the mortuary assistant, that the only reason Bobby had those two items were due to his partner making them in her spare time. I sadly also discovered that Bobby had not been buried in ‘his’ blanket, as due to supply and demand issues, they had to reuse it on another baby like Bobby.
The ‘need’ now is that our babies are treated as human beings, no matter how many weeks they may have lived inside of their Mums tummies. Our aim is that no parent feels alone.